Rebellious Desire Read online

  But as soon as the dressmaker had taken her leave, Charity reopened the discussion. “I hope you’ll not make a rash decision, Caroline. We’ve only been here two weeks. Give yourself more time before you decide what to do. Heavens, our brothers will have fits if you don’t come home.”

  “I promise not to be rash,” Caroline answered. “But I can’t abandon my father, Charity. I just can’t.” She sighed with sadness and acceptance and whispered, “I am home. This is where I belong. For as long as my father is alive.”

  “You say you can’t abandon your father yet that is exactly what he did to you,” Charity argued. Her face was flushed and Caroline knew she was becoming quite angry. “For fourteen years he ignored you! How can you forget that?”

  “I haven’t forgotten,” Caroline answered. “But there was a reason,” she argued. “One beneath all the easy explanations, and someday he will tell me.”

  “I’ll not argue with you, Sister,” Charity announced. “In just a few days we will go to our first ball together. Your father is excited for us and I won’t put a damper on his enthusiasm. Only promise me that you will wait to make your decision. I won’t bring the subject up again for … two weeks. Then you will have had time to consider all the ramifications. Why, Caroline, you don’t even like the English!”

  “I haven’t met all that many,” Caroline returned.

  The conversation suddenly reminded Caroline of the injured gentleman she had aided and their similar talk. And then she thought about the man named Bradford and the way he had affected her. She found herself thinking about him more than she wanted to but couldn’t seem to block her thoughts. He threatened her somehow and when she acknowledged that to herself, she immediately decided that she was being dramatic. He was, after all, only a man.

  The night of their first ball finally arrived. The Ashford bash, as her father called it, signaled the beginning of the season, and everyone of significance would be in attendance.

  Caroline took her time dressing for the affair. Her hair eluded the pins and ribbons the maid repeatedly tried to fashion it with, and Caroline ended up brushing it all out and letting it fall around her shoulders.

  Her gown was the color of violet ice, with a scooped neck that showed more than just a hint of her full bosom. Matching shoes and sparkling white gloves completed her outfit, and as Caroline stood before the gilded mirror in her bedroom, she decided that she looked quite acceptable.

  Mary Margaret, the freckle-faced lady’s maid that Deighton had hired to assist Caroline, carried on and on about how lovely her new mistress was. “Your eyes have taken on the color of your gown,” she whispered in awe. “’Tis magic, it is. Oh, if only I could change into a mouse and come with you to the ball. You’ll cause such a commotion.”

  Caroline laughed. “If you change into a mouse, it’s you who will cause the commotion,” she teased. “But if you have a mind to wait up for me, I promise to tell you everything that happens.”

  From the maid’s radiant expression, Caroline thought that she wouldn’t have been very surprised if the girl had dropped to her knees. The adoration made her uneasy. “I’m very nervous, Mary Margaret. Tonight is my first ball.”

  “But you are Lady Caroline!” Mary Margaret protested. “Your position is secured by your birthright. And you are so beautiful,” she added with a sigh.

  “I am a simple farmgirl,” Caroline contradicted. The maid looked ready to argue, and Caroline quickly thanked her for her assistance and then went to find her father and Charity.

  The two of them were waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Charity looked lovely. Her hair was twisted into a cluster of curls with a pink ribbon threaded through it. Her gown was the same color as the ribbon, with a flattering scooped neck that just covered her shoulders. The pale, shimmering pink enhanced the pretty blush of her cheeks. Caroline had no doubt that the ton would embrace her cousin.

  The Earl of Braxton watched as his daughter made her way down the stairs. His smile was proud and his eyes were filled with tears, an indication that he was pleased with her appearance. She waited until he had pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket and had wiped his eyes before asking if he had waited long for her.

  “Fourteen years,” he answered before he could stop himself. Caroline smiled with true fondness over his honest remark. “You look beautiful tonight,” he stated. “I will have to protect you from the bucks.”

  When they were seated in the carriage and on their way to the ball, Charity asked her uncle, “Is there anyone that you see most of the time?”

  “I beg your pardon?” Caroline’s father was slow to understand.

  “Charity wishes to know if you are attracted to any particular lady,” Caroline translated. She hadn’t told Charity that her father had been a recluse all these past years.

  “Oh, that! No, no, there is no one,” he replied. “Years ago, I did escort Lady Tillman about.”

  “Perhaps she will be there tonight,” Caroline commented.

  “Her husband died right after I married your mother, Caroline,” the earl commented. “She had a girl. I wonder how she turned out.”

  “But, Uncle, it must be lonely for you, living alone. I can’t imagine it,” Charity remarked with a frown.

  “That is because you have always been surrounded by brothers,” he replied.

  “And Caroline,” Charity interjected. “She has been my sister for as long as I can remember.”

  The three lapsed into silence as the carriage came to a stop in front of a thick stone house. It looked like a palace to Caroline and she felt her stomach begin to twist into knots. She was nervous.

  “It is warm for fall,” her father remarked as he assisted the ladies out of the carriage. He walked between them, holding Caroline’s elbow with his left hand and Charity’s with his right.

  Charity tripped over one of the steps and Caroline had to remind her to put her spectacles on.

  “Only until I am inside,” Charity announced. “I know I am terribly vain but I look so awful when I’m wearing them!”

  “Nonsense,” her uncle insisted. “You look lovely with your spectacles on. Gives you a dignified appearance.”

  Charity didn’t believe him. As soon as they entered the foyer, brightly lit with hundreds of candles, Charity slipped the spectacles off her nose and tucked them into her uncle’s jacket. “I have not told you how handsome you look tonight, Uncle,” she said.

  Caroline’s father answered with another compliment but Caroline barely paid attention. She was trying not to gawk as she took in the regal splendor surrounding her.

  The Earl of Braxton immediately introduced his daughter and his niece to their host, who was standing at the head of a long receiving line. The Duke of Ashford was an old man, with a shock of white hair that had a faint yellow cast to it. He spoke in a high, nasally voice that sounded as if someone were pinching his nose. Caroline thought he was terribly impressed with himself but liked him anyway because he had embraced her father with an affectionate hug.

  The duke couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her and even used his quizzing glass to obtain a better look. She wondered, as she tried to ignore his rather rude stare, if she had suddenly grown additional arms or legs, and noticed that he didn’t stare at Charity in quite the same way. She was most thankful when her father took hold of her arm and escorted her to the steps above the ballroom.

  It was all a beautiful blur to Charity. She let the excitement of the evening catch hold of her. Tonight she would mingle with the fashionable ton. Surely one of them would know Paul Bleachley. Tonight she would take her first step in finding out all about her lost love.

  The Earl of Braxton, with his daughter on one side and his niece clutching his arm on the other side, stood at the threshold of the ballroom. There were four steps leading down to the dance area, and the threesome had a full view of the crowd.

  Father and daughter did not touch, though Charity squeezed her uncle’s arm so that she wouldn’t tr
ip when they descended the steps. There was a sparkle in her eyes and her face was flushed with expectation.

  Caroline, on the other hand, looked totally composed. She stood tall and proud, matching her father in height and dignity, and looked down on the people staring at her with a tranquil expression on her face.

  The earl stood where he was until he was sure that every eye was directed at his beautiful daughter and niece. It was, he decided then and there, his finest moment! A notable hush descended over the group, and while Charity grew a little nervous over the prolonged wait, her uncle basked in pride.

  The orchestra began again and several bold-looking men started toward the group. “Here they come,” Caroline’s father whispered with a soft chuckle.

  So this was the adventure, Caroline thought as she was swamped with introductions. The more the eligibles advanced, the further Caroline retreated. She stood by her father’s side, looking composed and radiant, but churned with jitters inside. She couldn’t help but admire the way that Charity bantered coy remarks with the suitors surrounding her. She seemed to be in her element, blossoming like a spring flower in full splendor, and Caroline wondered what had happened to her own confidence. She felt shy and awkward and completely out of her element.

  Charity’s dance card was filled and she was led off to join a dance set in progress, but the Earl of Braxton declined a suitor attempting to take hold of his daughter, stating that she must first be introduced to his friends.

  Her father’s gaze was directed across the room, and Caroline turned her attention in that direction to see whom he was watching.

  An elderly man had detached himself from a group of people and was slowly making his way around the edge of the dance floor. He was stoop-shouldered, somewhat bald, and used a cane to aid his progress.

  “Who is he, Father?” Caroline asked.

  “The Marquis of Aimsmond,” her father answered. “Your mother’s older brother.”

  “The man you went to see?” Caroline asked.

  “Yes, Caroline. I had to explain,” the earl stated. He smiled and patted Caroline’s hand and then added, “He’ll not deny you now. I’ve seen to it.”

  Caroline was puzzled by his remarks. What had he explained? And why would her uncle think to deny her? She knew she couldn’t question her father now but determined to find out what he was talking about when they returned home.

  She turned back to watch the marquis, thinking that he looked very frail.

  “I believe I should meet him halfway,” Caroline told her father.

  She didn’t wait for her father’s reply but straightened her shoulders and began to walk toward the man who had not spoken to her father in fourteen years. The marquis was smiling at her, and she knew that the feud had ended. Her father’s visit the week before had obviously mended the broken fences.

  She met him in the center of the ballroom. Without a second’s hesitation, she gave him her brightest smile and kissed his cheek.

  Her uncle reacted with a heart-tugging smile. He took hold of both of her hands but had to let go of one of them to regain his balance with his cane’s assistance.

  The two continued to face each other, without saying a word. Caroline was at a loss as to how to open the conversation.

  The marquis finally broke the silence. “I would be honored if you would call me Uncle,” he said. His voice had a gruff edge to it, sounded almost raspy. It was filled with emotion. “I’ve only a younger brother, Franklin, and his wife, Loretta. Since your mother’s death, they are my only family.”

  “No,” Caroline returned in a soft voice. “You also have my father and me.”

  Her words pleased him. From behind, Caroline heard her father clear his throat.

  The marquis looked at the Earl of Braxton with a clear frown. “You didn’t tell me she looked just like her mother. Almost fell over when I spotted her.”

  “I did so,” the earl returned. “You’re just too feeble to remember it.”

  “Ha! My mind’s as sharp as a new nail, Brax!”

  Caroline’s father smiled. “Are Franklin and Loretta here tonight? I haven’t seen them and I want Caroline to meet her other uncle.”

  The marquis frowned. “They’re here somewhere,” he remarked with a shrug. He turned back to look at Caroline and added, “She has my eyes, Brax! Yes, sir, she’s the spitting image of my side of the family.”

  Caroline had to admit that her eyes did resemble his, and wondered why her uncle was goading her father. His eyes were filled with mischief.

  “But she has my hair, and that’s a fact you can’t deny, Aimsmond!”

  Caroline started to laugh. She couldn’t believe the two were actually fighting over her. “Then everyone will know that I’m related to both of you,” she said. She took hold of her uncle’s arm with one hand and her father’s with the other, knowing that it wouldn’t do to slight either man. “Shall we find a spot to sit and talk? Even though you visited only recently, you still must have quite a lot to say to each other.”

  The three of them strolled toward a nearby alcove. Charity joined them, and the talk quickly turned to the ball and the available men trying to gain attention.

  “May I also call you Uncle?” Charity asked the marquis. “I would like to, if that is acceptable. We are distantly related someway, aren’t we?”

  The marquis was pleased with Charity’s open affection and nodded his agreement. “We are related through marriage, I imagine. I would be pleased to have you call me Uncle. Uncle Milo is what Caroline called me when she was just a little girl.”

  “I wonder, Aimsmond, what’s all the commotion?” Braxton suddenly asked. He was standing next to the cushioned window seat where the marquis sat. Caroline was standing on her uncle’s other side. The marquis held Caroline’s hand in a viselike grip, his way of making sure she didn’t disappear, Caroline thought.

  Her father was looking toward the entrance to the ballroom and Caroline turned. Her eyes widened a fraction when she saw who was standing there, causing such a commotion among the guests. It was the gentleman she had aided the day of the attempted robbery. Mr. Smith! Of course, it wasn’t Mr. Smith at all, as that was only the name she had made up for the man to save him from embarrassment.

  She stood there and watched him, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, and thought that he reminded her of a peacock, the way he stood there preening! From the way the crowd cast discreet glances his way, she assumed he was a popular dandy. His somber black dress was identical to all the other men’s outfits in the room, but he wore another white neckcloth that came all the way up to his ears. She wondered if he had difficulty turning his head without wrinkling the cravat.

  “So Brummell has at last arrived,” her uncle noted with satisfaction. “The duke’s ball has now been given the stamp of approval.”

  “Brummell?” Caroline felt a sinking feeling invade her limbs. “Did you say Brummell?” she asked, knowing full well that he had. What a mess, she thought to herself, remembering how she had talked about Brummell to the man she had named Mr. Smith! She frantically tried to recall the details of the conversation, hoping that she hadn’t said something uncomplimentary about the man. Heavens, hadn’t she called him Plummer?

  Brummell stood by himself, looking around. He wore a bored expression, even when he nodded an acknowledgment to someone across the room. Brummell then made his way down the steps and continued, unhurried, through the crowd. He walked with an air of supreme importance, and as the crowd parted, Caroline realized he was indeed significant. He also walked without a limp. His injury must have healed properly, Caroline noted with satisfaction.

  She kept her gaze directed on Brummell’s back, curious to see whom he had acknowledged.

  And then she saw him. Bradford! He was leaning nonchalantly against the far wall and was surrounded by three men. Charity was blocking Caroline’s view somewhat, and she had to tilt her head to get a better look. The men talking to Bradford seemed intent on gaining his a
ttention but Bradford was ignoring them. He was looking at her!

  Her father was saying something to her, and Charity was also trying to get her attention. Uncle Milo was tugging on her arm, but Caroline ignored them all. She couldn’t seem to take her gaze off the man who was staring at her so intently.

  He was more handsome than she remembered, and a good head taller than his cohorts. His hair was combed but still looked slightly windblown, and that saved him from looking completely untouchable. It almost made him look vulnerable. His mouth didn’t look vulnerable at all, though, it looked hard. She wondered if he smiled very often.

  Why hadn’t she remembered how large he was, how wide his shoulders were? She had the sudden image of a Spartan warrior, King Leonidas perhaps, and thought that in another time, another life, Bradford could well have been related to the mighty warrior.

  The Duke of Bradford had been observing Caroline Richmond all evening. From the minute she appeared, so regal and composed, standing by the Earl of Braxton’s side, he had been spellbound. She was quite stunning, and her appearance caused an instant impact. He knew he wasn’t alone in his admiration and felt great irritation over that fact. Why, every buck in the room was staring at her!

  Damn! He had a claim on her. She was going to belong to him. Bradford found himself shaking his head over the fierceness of his need to have her, to overpower her. His boredom with the ton and the foolishness of it all had vanished when she walked through the doorway. He felt a sudden zest for life that he had been sure died with his father and his brother.

  Bradford had only accepted the invitation for tonight’s affair in the hopes that she might be in attendance. Everyone in the ton attended the Duke of Ashford’s annual ball, and Bradford believed that Caroline’s father would be no exception.

  His brooding gaze warmed Caroline in a way she couldn’t comprehend. She felt her cheeks grow hot and realized that she was embarrassed. Bradford was making her terribly uncomfortable and extremely nervous. It wouldn’t do, this intimidating effect he was having on her, because Caroline knew that she was in real jeopardy of bursting into nervous laughter. And how would she explain herself to those around her then? she asked herself.